I seem to accept my new roles in life a long time after I fill them. I spent years feeling like a fake mother, someone who was going to be caught doing it all wrong by all the “real parents” out there. I spent years feeling as though I was acting the part of spouse, certain the requirements of the role weren’t quite a perfect fit for me and doing my best to fill them anyway. I spent years feeling uncertain and tentative as a professional, certain I would jump to quickly to answer something and end up making a fool out of myself.
Today I feel like me.
Today all my roles fit snugly against me, like a second skin. Motherhood is me. Marriage is me. Lawyer is me.
It’s nice to meet me.
Categories: Just me
January 14, 2010 · 1 Comment
The law firm is really getting off the ground. We have paying clients and everything! It is very hard and very rewarding work. It does take me away from my children during the day, and occasionally at night. Otter started school a couple of days a week last week and that helps me carve more time out of the day for the office but I need more. A lot more. I need time for a full time job plus some.
They say law is a jealous mistress. I always thought that phrase was really intended to describe the amount of time the practice of law carves out of one’s personal life but I realize now that it more accurately describes the nigh-all consuming passion one can feel for the practice of law. During law school I remember living the law. I dreamt it, studied it all my waking hours, and never stopped thinking about it (even sometimes during sex). Suddenly I find myself in a similar position. This new firm is pulling my mind away from everything else in my life. I am obsessed with it, much like I imagine one could be obsessed with their partner in an illicit affair.
I have to pull my mind away from all the little to-do lists, the elements of the claims we are making in various cases, the complaints I am drafting in order to participate in motherhood, my spousal relationship, and with my friends. I was out at a bar last night with no other lawyers and still ended up discussing the legal aspects to developing a 501(c)(3) non-profit with another bar patron. I couldn’t stop myself from diving into the law the moment the topic was released.
The most interesting/disturbing/wonderful thing about this is that I am having so much fun! I am immersed in this corner of my world and loving every minute I spend there. I long for my networking events so I can talk to other lawyers, I feel more comfortable around other lawyers than I do virtually anyone else, and all I want to do is study, work, and live the law. It’s like waking up in the middle of third year of law school again, excited to see what new techniques and rules I discover and what rights I can wrong. Best of all, this time comes with a paycheck.
Categories: Just me · Law
Sometimes the mama-razzi gets the best of me. This was one of those times.
Frozen in time.
Eyelashes.
Monkey.
Otter flies his boat out of the water.
Monkey monkeys around.
A baby curl.
Categories: Monkey · Otter · Photography
Like most people there are many little things that please me about holiday gift giving. I love thoughtful gifts, well planned gifts, creative gifts, charitable gifts, handmade gifts. However, over the past few years my cousins have given me something I have come to enjoy above all other little presents. Homemade jam and jelly. Each year they tuck a jar into their other present as almost an after thought and each year I spend the following week gobbling up toast and english muffins spread with their utterly delicious jelly. I can’t help myself, it is the feature ingredient in every breakfast until the moment it is gone, the last few smears scraped from the jar with a spatula.
Homemade jelly just tastes better. It’s colors are deeper, it’s flavors are richer, so much less of it goes so much further, and it has the ability to turn each item it is spread on into a trip back in time to the March’s breakfast table. Spreading it onto my toast feels like the playacting I used to do as a child and sitting down to eat it feels like a treat, every time.
I wish my cousins would simply pack me a selection from their family jar each year and give me nothing else. While their other gifts are tasteful and appreciated nothing makes me happier than to see that shining jar nestled neatly inside my package, placed there as just a little extra small gift, waiting for breakfast.
Categories: holidays
December 14, 2009 · 1 Comment
Every year we try and remember the positive socially concious ideas behind the holiday season and behave accordingly. We go through all our stuff and donate everything we can in November, we choose several charities to assist or gift to, and we try and focus on spending time with our loved ones instead of money on them. This year we are focusing a little on the ecological side of giving.
To start with we did e-cards this year instead of paper cards. Every year Americans generate some additional one million tons of household waster over the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s day (according to the EPA). That number represents 20 percent of the waste generated by our country each year. I believe doing everything I can do to minimize our part in that is hugely important. Hence the e-card.
We are also making our own wrapping paper out of recycled grocery bags decorated with stickers and stamps, and we are shopping primarily at Amazon which is working with their retailers to minimize the packaging on their products. We also give handmade gifts with no packaging at all and try to recycle any of the packaging we get.
So, with that in mind, Happy Holidays everyone! We wish you a joyous 2009 holiday season and a fantastic 2010!
Categories: environment · holidays
I have been having a hard time posting to the blog, but whenever I try and take a sabbattical I end up posting regularly again.
So instead I am going to post only when I truly feel like it, even if I miss weeks at a time.
Sorry for the inconsistency.
Categories: Just me
From http://flushrush.com/snow-monkeys-hot-bath/
Categories: Just me
I have decided to stop fighting it though. I am firmly ensconced in the time of life I am going to refer to as “The Sad and Sober Part” in deference to Louisa May Alcott. Since I get more peace and enjoyment out of working, networking, and being with my family than I do out of almost anything else I am allowing myself to focus on working for a while. Maybe I am a workaholic but I seem to be self medicating so I better not interfere.
For the third weekend in a row I will be spending my Saturday night at a networking event. I am excited and looking forward to meeting a lot of people who can help me guide my way to a successful practice. I am thrilled to have a shiny new Le Suit hanging in my closet waiting to turn me from a jammie clad super mom into a sleek and successful attorney. I even have a sexy, yet professional, hairstyle to try out. I will wander the halls of the Nature and Science Museum with lawyers and judges dedicated to helping people.
I am so lucky to be involved in a professional community with so many people interested in making the world a better place. I know everyone thinks lawyers are scum and that our system would be better off without them but I have rarely met more dedicated activists outside my profession.
True superheros carry a briefcase.
Categories: Just me · Law
After having children clothes don’t fit my body the way they used to. I recognize part of this is due to the extra pounds I carry around as a result of a sedentary job and a love of all things bread. However, part of it is due to the fact that certain muscles stretched out beyond their normal capacity and may never return to their previously gorgeous ultra flat condition.
In other words, I have a pooch.
Jean shopping since the advent of the ultra-low-rise-guaranteed-to-give-you-plumber-butt-or-a-horrid-muffintop-no-matter-how-much-you-starve-yourself jean has been fairly impossible. None of the low rise jeans fit me in any flattering way and all of the “traditional fit” jeans are made of flimsy denim, cost 10 bucks and make me feel categorically uncool.
I have been touring the jean rack at Ross for months now. My only awesome pair of ultra luxurious designer french jeans came from Ross and I have stalked their jean aisle religiously ever since in the hope of finding another pair like them. (Especially now that I have worn that one luxurious pair for years now and must retire it due to huge rips, tears, and thin spots.)
While touring the jean aisle this time my fingers happened upon a thick and luxurious denim in my size. Soft deep blue fabric rested heavily in my arms as I carried them to the fitting room. The jeans fit beautifully. My ass looked great, I didn’t have a muffin top, and I could move around in all positions without feeling any restriction. Perfect! I removed the jeans feeling damn sexy and pleased to once again own a pair of jeans that made me feel really good wearing them.
Then I saw the tag. I am sure the marketing geniuses who came up with the brand name and web address thought they were appealing to my sense of outrage at the ridiculous rail thin models shoved in front of my face at every fashion turn. I am positive they were trying to create a sense of female solidarity and tell me they were taking the time to make jeans that really fit real women really well. What they did was drain the pleasure from my shopping experience.
“Not My Daughter’s Jeans” may as well read “Mom Pants” or “Uncool and dated jeans” or “Too busy parenting to bother with looking good denim”. Seriously. I don’t want to be buying jeans marketed to mothers even though I recognize I need jeans designed for women who have had babies. I want to wear jeans marketed to Catherine Zeta Jones or Angelina Jolie or to women who are traveling to exotic places and dancing in fancy nightclubs. I want to buy jeans that tell me I am still hot and desirable even if my kids will ultimately use them as a kleenex.
My previous sense of self satisfaction gone I reminded myself that they looked damn good on me and the tag, NMDJ, was both discreet and located on the inside of my waistband.
Then I found the tag with their web address on it. www.tummytuckjeans.com.
Fuck you NMDJ’s. Fuck you.
Categories: Humor · Just me · Motherhood/body image
The Bloggess had me in stitches tonight. Her interactions with her hubby remind me so much of the way conversations between my husband and I go, in my head.
More importantly she brought me here, to a magical place where all my inner snarkiness can find a deserving outlet.*
I have been laughing so damn hard ever since.
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I think what really gets me about this Etsy item is the “mature” in the title.
Categories: Uncategorized
Welcome to Law and Motherhood, my blog under the stairs. I am a stay at home mom and co-founder of a law practice in Colorado. I have two darling children, three crazy and self important cats, two demanding whiny dogs, and a wonderful husband who holds us together like duct tapes holds your headlight on.
