Category Archives: Monkey

This weekend Monkey was a part of something that made me very disappointed in her. She and a friend wrote a snarky little note and gave it to a girl much younger than they at a birthday party.
When I found out about the note I came to Monkey and asked her if she and her friend had written it. She took responsibility for her share in the smallness and said yes.
Then I asked her to imagine being a little girl at a party. I asked her to imagine trying so hard to play with the bigger kids and being so excited when they gave you a note. Imagine clutching the note in your hands the whole way home, proud of it, excited to hear what it says. Maybe it’s your first note ever. Imagine handing it to your Daddy to finally learn what it says only to see his face fall as he reads it. Imagine learning it’s not nice.

Then Monkey did something that made me so proud of her. She teared up, jumped out of her seat, and said “I need to write her an apology right now.”

Monkey was very upset that she and her friend had hurt this little girl’s feelings and cried when she thought about how disappointed and upset she must have been to learn the cherished note had been a mean trick instead of a welcome.

We designed a nice homemade card, picked out some stickers to give the little girl, and Monkey wrote out a lovely apology in her own words, ending with “I hope you can forgive me because I would like to be your friend.” Then she and I had a good long talk about how everything we do has an affect on someone else. I told her that each decision we make can make someone else’s day better or worse and that the best thing you can do is just be kind to people.

I am so proud that my kiddo was able to put herself in this little girl’s shoes and genuinely feel for her. I am still upset that she chose to behave in such an ungenerous way but I am pleased she was so ready to do her best to fix it. It makes me feel as though we are on the right path.

Monkey turned eight today. We celebrated with small gifts from Otter, Daddy, and me, as her large gift and party are next weekend to accommodate out of town guests she wishes to have at her party.

Otter got her a CD Player, and a card. He picked the card out on his own, a fire engine that made real siren sounds, and wrote on both the card and the envelope with no help from his parents.

I made her a mix CD of some of my favorite songs, and some of her favorite songs, so I could stand to listen to them played ad nausem.

Lee got her the worlds largest Journal, and some really cool color pencils to write with per her request. Then we all went out to Earl’s on the 16th Street Mall for a steak dinner on the patio. It was surprisingly fun, as was the climbing of the addresses on the way back to the car.

Then we came back to the house, munched ice cream, and got ready for bed. A pretty mellow birthday, saving the madness for the pirate extravaganza to come.

I am amazed, awed, and surprised at the person my girl has become. I found this picture from our camping trip to Kansas:

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To me it speaks so clearly to the patience she has mastered over the past two years. She rarely has a harsh word for her brother, even in high 90 degree heat and sweat pants. Even when she is tired and cranky she will often be the one to take his hand and provide the extra care that makes his life a little sweeter than it would otherwise be. I do not always acknowledge how lucky I am to have such a patient young woman in my house, easing the way for all of us by taking the hand of our youngest family member, and calming him down. While I am quick to notice when her behavior causes problems for me, I am not always quick to notice when it eases the way, and for that my dear, I humbly apologize. You have made the past two years much easier by entertaining your brother upon many an occasion, by providing extra love and support for him, and by being his friend.

She has grown more caring in other ways as well. When our dog Bella was sick, Monkey brought a book into the office and read stories to her to keep her company, so she wouldn’t be lonely and scared. It was very sweet.

She is daring and brave and is not afraid to ask for what she wants in life. She wants to be a singer, for example, and ended up helping the band performing at my Inn of Court end of year party in exchange for a chance to sing with them. She helped the drummer set up and then got to sing “Old MacDonald” with them during their set. She was a little nervous and told me after that it was a lot harder singing into a microphone in front of so many people, but she got up there and did it, and never once faltered.

She catches ladybugs and lets them crawl on her hands, frees drowning butterflies and places them safely in high up flowers so their wings will dry, rescues worms from rain puddles when we are out after a storm, and is generally good about relocating spiders to the outdoors when they surprise her in the bedroom or bathroom. She is becoming aware of the delicate nature of other things and seems eager to take care to preserve them. I am proud of her for being this careful about the world around her, even when I huff in frustration sometimes at the extra time these actions can often take.

We have had our issues this year for sure. She is stubborn and I fear I may need to have her hearing checked, or maybe clean her ears out more, or have my vocal chords checked, for she often seems to lack the ability to hear what I say.

However, despite the growing pains of seven, as my dear girl turns the corner towards eight she does so bearing the makings of a capital little woman. I am proud of who she is and I am proud of who she is becoming. What mother could ask for anything more?

I love you baby, Happy Birthday.