Law & Motherhood

It’s like extreme sports.

Instead of a snuggled bundle of baby joy sweetly nursing away I have a power nurser.

He nurses in down dog, he climbs across my stomach, he tries to sit on my head… all while nursing.

If I nurse him in my lap he will try and drape himself off of it and slide down to the floor. If I nurse him in bed he is kicking, climbing, and otherwise moving around. He also likes to pat my other breast, and present his foot for kissing, and stick his finger up my nose or in my mouth (thankfully not in that order.)

It would seem that he wants the closeness of nursing, but doesn’t want it to interfere with his busy schedule. I don’t understand the need to constantly move around but I am beginning to understand why mama dogs bite their puppies.

I have a puppy. A cavorting 33 pound puppy, clambering all over me.

It began when you were very small,

No other source of food at all,

every hour, sometimes less,

you would suckle at my breast.

♥

Everywhere we went they’d smile

supportive of us all the while,

You were young and cute and small

of course I breastfed, after all.

♥

Strangers told me they were proud

in voices strident, voices loud,

that I chose to bare my breast.

They told me it was for the best.

♥

Now that you walk, and run, and play,

our nursing support has become dismay!

Though you are still a babe to me

a big kid and breasts is all they see.

♥

Despite the heads that shake away

We still nurse all night and day!

You are still my little one,

we will nurse until you’re done.

♥

(Support breastfeeding, celebrate World Breastfeeding Week!)

(Also posted on API Speaks)

That is the sound I hear after submitting my resume to dozens of potential law firms.

There have been no responses that I can call positive, since there have been no responses at all! I have had plenty of leads that lead nowhere, and tons of time put into trolling the job sites for postings that may or may not lead to more nowhere.

Worst of all, the money from my last case is dwindling, the next case I take will not pay for a long time.

How does one start a law practice without entering bankruptcy or selling half naked pictures of themselves on the internet? (Not that my post-baby body would earn as much as my pre-baby body, but hey, someone out there has to have a stretch mark fetish.)

What makes me the most nervous is that I have only submitted about 20-25 resumes. My significantly more experienced friend submitted over 100, and from those, only received 11 interviews. Ha ha HA!!

So, I submit 80 more resumes, and then maybe I will get a phone call? Ugh, I have educated myself out of the workforce people, it was easier for me to find work when I didn’t have a law degree.

Guess all I can do now is…. go back to school.

I am so happy to be home, but I am still aching a little for New Jersey.

There were so many things I did to cheer myself there, and to feel at home. I miss the little routines I developed with my kids, and my friends. It strikes me at odd moments.

This morning I went looking for coffee in the kitchen and missed the fun local coffee section of the Wegman’s. Missing it got me thinking; no more Wegman’s, no more Dunkin Donuts, no more walking path, no more unexpected bodies of water.

Living somewhere new is hard, very hard, but it turn’s out that leaving somewhere new is hard too. I feel all adrift again. I have to make these routines all over again, back home, just as if I had moved to a new place. It’s made a little easier by the number of friends and family I have here, but it is still a little strange, a little lonely.

On the upside, I got my fantastic kitchen mixer from Dustin yesterday (THANK YOU D!!) and have already whipped up some delicious whole wheat shortbread cookies.

It’s easier to adjust to a new place with cookies. It’s a scientifically proven fact.

Scott and Sierra’s wedding was a lovely occasion that managed to capture their no nonsense personalities as well as the beauty of their romance. The event was held Friday morning at Chautauqua in Boulder. The bride and groom arrived looking gorgeous, and proceeded to share their happiness with their attendants, friends, and family.

The groom prepares to take his vows

The Bride prepares to take her vows

Three lovely ladies make their final preparations for the task at hand.

The flower girls were patient as they waited to toss petals onto the grass.

Flower girls prepare for their entrance

The day was hot, but the couple more than made up for the heat by keeping their ceremony brief yet lovely, and by following it up with a bacon reception.

Yes… piles and piles of bacon were heaped upon the guests as they trooped indoors to the air conditioned reception area. Okay, it wasn’t heaped upon us, but there was a vat of crispy bacon on the reception table, along with fruit, biscuits and organic jam, and breakfast burritos. It was a fantastic breakfast feast!

After the bacon there were 8 organic cakes from Whole Foods to choose from, and champagne to sip in honor of the lovely couple. (No toasts beyond two words were allowed, so Lee, Devon, and I stood and said “To the… Bride and… Groom” and then drank away!)

I lugged out the camera and got some good shots of guests at the reception, of the cakes (okay, I had to photograph the cakes) and of Otter as he ran around the tables and peeked out from behind the chairs. I managed to miss the cake cutting, the (non)toast, and the ceremony (I was in it though, so forgive me that one). I did get some before and after shots!!

Eight cakes a-laying

There were shots of each cake, but really, all I will do is make you hungry so I will limit myself to the prettiest cake close up:

My favorite cake

Mmmm…. cake. Otter hid from me and played camera tag for a while:

I know I'm cute

Here he is hiding behind a chair:

Peek a Boo!!

It was a fantastic wedding, followed up by an evening at the Rio drinking tequila and talking about love. Congratulations Scott and Sierra! Thank you for letting us be a part of your magical day!!

Okay, okay, just one more cake.

It’s true. Everything changes while you are gone, and if it doesn’t, you do.

In my case it’s a little bit of both. I have changed a lot in the two years since I have lived in Colorado, and Colorado has changed too. The Village Inns where I spent my youth are closed, and the dark, dank one we never entered has been remodeled in a mod-70’s style that jars with the mediocre eating experience I associate with VI. Half the bars I drank at have been replaced with Health food restaurants, and there are new buildings poking up all over the skyline.

It’s almost like moving to a whole new place, but bringing most of your friends and family with you.

Of course, they have all changed too, so it’s almost as if my friends were abducted by aliens or taken over by pod creatures. They look like my friends, they sound like my friends, but like me, they have changed. I think I will have to feel things out a bit, before this home starts to feel fully homey.

In the meantime, I inexplicably miss New Jersey. After founding the “we hate Jersey” club, here I am missing the accents, the food, the trees, the produce, the shore, the people, the townships and boro’s.

Am I just unhappy wherever or does NJ get under your skin a little? Hopefully the latter.

I am still unpacking boxes and trying to get settled in, but things are getting better. We have a table to eat at now, a couch to sit on, and a t.v. to watch. We have dishes to eat off of, a coffee maker, and several bottles of wine. Life is getting livable.

I keep promising myself I will get back to writing.

“Tomorrow I will set up my desk and sit and write some amazing post about Otter and Monkey’s newest game, or about settling into Colorado, or about missing New Jersey”

However, each day the sun rises upon a field of boxes. Small, big, light and heavy, these clamouring cardboard cubes claim my attention before I can sit down and write. Therefore it will be a few more days before the stories come forth.

So, thank you for your patience.

Today Monkey turned seven. We treated her to a Waffle and fresh fruit breakfast, and a small morning cupcake birthday song and candle snuffing. She was presented with her gifts; a brand new bicycle, with basket and bell, helmet and pads from her Dad and I, a snuggly bear she had been eyeing from her brother, and a “surprise adventure” from her grandparents. Then she ran off to swim all day at Nana’s and Papa’s while we got down to the business of unpacking PODS.

This afternoon we went to Nana’s for a party and all of us splashed a bit, had a fancy Hannah Montana cake, and finished the day off in style. She will get another party next weekend, for her friends, but we had to delay it due to the completely unpacked state of our house. (Sea of boxes people… cardboard everywhere I look.)

Tonight I sit and review the day, thinking that I really saw how big she is getting today. I clearly saw the length in her stride, heard the clarity of her arguments, and realized her sudden height and strength. I saw the young lady who will lock horns with me in high school, and will likely slay dragons later in life.

I saw my big girl.

Once she nestled trustingly against me, gazing into my face and patting my chin with pudgy baby hands. Now, she negotiates for additional ice pops, or t.v. time, or another bedtime story. She wiggles whenever I try to cuddle, and can’t seem to take off fast enough once her feet are once again on the ground. She wants to ride bikes, see friends, and play outside unattended.

She is busy, building a life outside of mine, a life where my worldly advice will be derisively repeated to her friends with her eyes rolled heavenward. A life where I can’t fix her owies with “magic crayon band-aids” sealed with a kiss.

I am too aware of my mortality today. It has gone by so quickly I can almost believe she sprung forth from my skull fully formed. Where is my fuzzy duck headed girl? Maybe if I sneak in while she is sleeping, and plant another kiss on her forehead, I will rediscover her.